Ahahah! it's good to remember back all my memories. Well, just now, i read my blog, my messages, my things from my friends, my pictures with my friends, my friend's blog and all the things that we have done long long time ago. I'm feel like i want to crying again. I miss them so much. Well, my heart is confused now. I'm feeling i want to crying so badly. But, is that for HAPPY or SAD feeling? Sometimes, i feel like i want to crying for my sadness. Sometimes for my happiness. There are too many reasons for me to cry for it. So, i can't mention it. I want to meet Sabah's friends. I want to meet KL's friends. I'm PROUD to be Sabah's citizen and i'm PROUD to be SK Puchong Jaya's children. I think yeaahh i'm ego this lately. Because, when i'm at KL, i ignored my Sabah's friends cause i'm Busy. And, another thing, when i'm at KL, i don't mention their names, their everything. When my friends ask me, "You don't miss me do you?" I'm feeling like i want to crying. Did they know how desperate i am to see them. It's just i'm too busy. I'm was so dissapointed of myself. I'm was trying to change myself since i lived here with my mektam's house this year. But, is it worth it? Well, sometimes, i just trying to fit in. But, sometimes, i think that my friends doesn't want me at there. Because, i still remember the old sucks memories when i'm was in this KL. I'm was just to SAD and to WEAK for fight for all of it. I'm was trying hard to change myself out. Well, yeaahh! What my friends said, it's all true. Sometimes, i kinda jelous when my friends doesn't think about me and think about anybody else. I can remember when we crying together, fight each other, laugh where ever, and that's who we are. I'm was so sad, because i'd be to sucks for my friends. I made them SHY and SAD because have a pathetic friends like me. Im was jelous if sometimes, when my friends are there, but they don't mention my name or don't care about me and care about anyone else, yeaahh, i'm was so sad. I don't know why i be so emo suddenly? *TEKANAN PERASAAN* kali ya, Ahahah! When i'm ignored my Sabah's friends for awhile, there said i'm SELFISH and sooo not CARE about them until they don not want me to be their BFF's again. I'm was so sad. But, actually, they do not know how hard it is to live at KL and then to thin about them. I've always think about them. When i see their pictures, notes and comments, i'm feeling like i want to cry. Then, now, i feel the same too. Serves me right! I've been ignored with my friends. I'm really gonna change. Yeaahh! Anyways, next year i will be 13 years old. And, do you know how hard it is to be in HIGH SCHOOL? I think i'm a Pathetic friends. When i'm was at SKPJP, there was so many memories, (CRY, LAUGH, PLAY, etc) and i'm always call myself *Pembawa Sial* dulu. Ahahahah, I admit. I've always want to end my life that time. But, when i think it back. I know, about life is everything. Life of Die is not a JOKE, it is REAL. I close my eyes for awhile, then when i open it again, I realize that my life is still important to me. There are still many things i not do yet. There are still many thing i want to try. I'm jelous when my friends forget about me because just of this 'one cute person'! >.<
WELL, AHAHAH! then that's it! NO EMO PERSON, i want to be the best? So, i must change myself, no matter what they said. Me is still me. But, the heart, who knows? I will change if that's for my own goodness. I will try again again and i don't want to fail. I'm feeling so sad if i'm Pathetic. So, maybe if i'm good enough, i will be happy as usual. And, sorry for writing too long. SORRY READERS because you gettin' bored of this post :) But, when i change, i want to my old me in this body also. Because, i need it sometimes.
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